My daughter is a first grader at a school that has a “STARR of the Week” program. Each of the children has a week during the school year with activities designed to make them feel special and loved by their fellow students and the teachers. STARR stands for SAFE, TRUTHFUL, ACCEPTING, RESPECTFUL and RESPONSIBLE. Supporting these tenets, the week’s activities give the child the opportunity to be the center of their peers’ attention. The STARR creates a power point about their favorite food, favorite sport, photos of their family, etc., and presents this to their class. The STARR is the “line leader” for the week, always at the front of the line to recess and to the cafeteria. The final and truly incredible activity is when the classmates create “What I like about you” affirmation notes for the STARR.
What a special gift of affirmation this is to the student and also to the caregivers! When I read the insightful, personal, humorous and loving sentiments from her classmates, I was fighting the tears back! Here are just a couple of examples of what these kind children wrote for my daughter: “I like Lauren because she will ask me to play when I am sad and it cheers me up,” “I like Lauren because she is helpful and respectful to everyone,” “I like Lauren because she is beautiful and great at learning,” “I like Lauren because she stands up for you and she is inclusive,” and “I like Lauren because she is nice to other people.”
Be a STARR leader
Wow! These children are unabashedly lauding their classmate with kindness, support, and encouragement. Beyond being so appreciative of the notes to my child, I thought how incredible it would be if we, as leaders and coworkers were STARRs. What an impact it would have if we felt as SAFE with our emotions, as positively TRUTHFUL and ACCEPTNG, by RESPECTFULLY and RESPONSIBLY giving feedback and support to our teams and coworkers like these first graders do!
Many times as leaders we shy away from initiating regular and proactive feedback because “we need to focus on business.” We don’t want to open up a conversation which could turn uncomfortable or be construed as confrontational. Instead, we just don’t say anything. The positive and complimentary feedback gets brushed aside because we feel that we need to balance that with constructive criticism. And what a shame that is! We miss out on giving encouragement to a team member who is struggling with their professional confidence, a manager who doesn’t recognize how well they mentor their team, or a myriad of other strengths we should be acknowledging and reinforcing.
Integrate First Graders’ Best Practices
Let’s take a lesson from the first graders! As leaders, let’s embrace positive, supportive, proactive and consistent feedback. Make this a regular practice and commitment on your part. Write a quick “you did a great job today because…” email, or even a handwritten note. Take the time at the beginning of touch bases to give a compliment on how they’re approaching a project, how they’re leading their direct reports, or how they’re engaging their coworkers in team building. So join me and don’t be afraid to laud your coworkers, your team, even your boss with the kindness, support and encouragement that first graders have fully embraced!
